Fate.

Things I like: feeling well known and the unexpected actually happening.

Working in industry has slowly become my saving grace in moving back to San Diego. Mainly because the people I work with now are friends with the people I worked with here years ago. And when I go out with the new work crew, I see the old work crew. I like that feeling that people remember me enough after 2+ years to stop in a Denny's at 2am after spying me through the window to say hi and reconnect. And even more when a bestie gets excited about it too! =)

Things happen for reason. Keep that in mind.

a girl can dream.

being a grown up is tough... the sad part is that i am not even a real grown up and i am stressing about it.

i want nothing more than to have an amazing job that can let me afford the life that i dream of living.  i want to be able to come home to something that is mine and have to work for it.  i want to be able to live comfortably and not have to depend on my parents anymore.

and i hate even more that people my age can do it.  and i can't.

lazy days.

I can't figure out if my day of laziness is due to 1- being sick, 2- a hangover or 3- gross weather. You would think I would be able to figure out the difference. But my recent weakness to hangovers has made question the affects of three drinks in a night.

But regardless, it was worth it. After my 22 hour day full of emotional highs and lows, a day of laying low is exactly what I needed.

twenty-twooo

Sometimes I feel like there are certain things I should not do now because I am not in college anymore and should therefore be a "grown up". But I am only 22 years old. Most people my age still have YEARS left in college, so why is that just because I started school younger that I should have to grow up faster?

Why do I feel guilty for being 22 and partying in college bars? I mean it is with people who are my age AND they are in college still, so I think that counts. And why do I feel like I'm not allowed to have a meaningless relationship? Where is it written that I have to settle down any time soon? And what is it that makes me think that every guy I get involved with has to have the makings of "the one"? I'm still young; I'm still going to make mistakes and have a blast while figuring it all out.

Another new year goal: stop making everything so serious. I am still so young and I have a lot of growing up to do; might as well have fun while doing it. =)

I'm not saying I'm going to go back to my college lifestyle of going out every night. But I am going to stop beating myself up over living at home and working in a restaurant. At least I have a fun job with fun people and great parents who are okay with letting me take a little bit longer to find myself.

I'm gonna be amazing; just you wait and see.

i'm your biggest fan.

simply stated, social media is taking over society.  and as immersed in it as i obviously am, i sometimes stop and wonder a few things.

like, are people's lives really as good as they make it sound? or bad for that matter? sometimes i think people are starving for attention and therefore want to portray their lives as "perfection" as if others will really be jealous or on the other end, focus on a negative for the pity points.

and when do you allow yourself to be friends or fellow followers? on facebook in particular, i only allow people i actually know in a real physical sense to be my friend.  but at what point in the what i call "real life" relationship are you allowed to push that "add as friend" button?  does it come off as stalker if you go out in pursuit of the person only to make the cyber world know of your connection?

don't get me wrong, i love it all just as much as any other generation y kiddo.  i'm just wondering when "social media etiquette" will become as instilled as table manners.

are you there, vodka?

i'm reading chelsea handler's book right now.  and i can honestly say that i have never laughed more while reading.  i read just about half without even realizing the time that had passed.

it gave me new hope; she started out as a business typhoon/babysitter too.  maybe i have a late night talk show in my future as well. lol. ...even though that is the only similarity i have yet to find, other than the obvious appreciation for vodka. ha.

blast from the past.

found my old blogs from high school and my first two years of college.

funny how my closest friendships have changed so much.  made me kind of sad to be quite honest.  but even funnier how i knew even then who i was supposed to be friends with.  i regret not putting enough effort into those friendships i cherish SO much now; luckily fate played out perfectly.  if it weren't for the girls i literally said "i was destined to be friends with", i don't think i could handle being back in SD today. proof even more God has a great plan.

and i loved even more reading everything i was going through. i think coming back to SD was inevitable... pretty sure i was homesick about 75% of the time i was in arizona.

my favorite though was a post saying that i wanted "a whole new world" from aladdin to play at my wedding.  obviously haven't changed too much, because i still think that would be pretty awesome.

college life.

high school days + freshie year.

i want to make sure i always know where these memoirs are; i can't imagine how much fun it will be to read them years from now.